My lipstick says I need to see a therapist

I can tell you that all my lipstick-wearing life (which actually only started in college {cringe}) I have been subject to comments, laughs, and ridicule for the shape of my lipstick. It's done me such emotional damage that I've tried to "fix" the way I apply my "Mulberry Bush" by Jane. But alas, said attempts have all been efforts in futility.

So when I see this chart (below) about what one's lipstick says about their personality, I can only come to one conclusion ... that I'm crazy. Or that the beauty magazines have run out of fodder to print. The closest I come to any stick shape on this chart of "theirs" is the Sharp Angles, Both Sides. And I agree I'm spiritual, curious, and love life, but I beg to differ that I have a big ego, seek attention, or am in any way mysterious (don't I wish).

In fact, there is a method to my application madness. I use my lipstick under the simple concepts of minimum waste and maximum utility. Therefore, when I apply, I try to make one wide stroke to cover my entire lip instead of making several smaller passes. As a result I think I use up a large amount of surface area on the stick creating a harsh slope. Once the initial slope is established, I rotate the stick to start using it from the opposite side so that I don't waste a perfectly good, unused side. This creates a funky looking point. It is here my minimum waste mentality is confronted by the problematic structural integrity of my lipstick's fragile point. This point eventually breaks off mid-application leaving me frustrated and having to start the process over :(

What do you think... Am I certifiable? What do you think my lipstick says about me? Have you ever seen someone whose lipstick looks stranger than mine? What does your lipstick say about you?

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Slant close to original shape

Abides by the rules, Great follower, Doesn’t like too much attention, A little self-conscious, Reserved, Schedule driven, May occasionally want to attract, Attention: dye hair, new outfits.

Rounded tip to a point

Loveable, Family oriented, domestic, A “doer”, Stubborn over little things, Exaggerates, Needs people around.

Rounded smooth tip

Easy-going, Peacemaker, Even tempered, Steady, Likeable, Generous.

Flat top

To the point, High morals, Very dependable, Quick minded, Loves challenges, Careful about appearances.

Sharp angle tip

Opinionated, High-spirited, Dislikes schedules, Selective of friends, Outgoing likes attention, Argumentative.

Flat top concave

A great detective, Make friends easily, Inquisitive, Adventurous, Complex, Exciting.

Sharp angled box curved tip

Creative, Enthusiastic, Energetic, Talkative, Loves attention, Falls in love easily, Helpful.

Sharp angles both sides

Spiritual, Curious, Seeks attention, Mysterious, Loves life, Big ego.